


im a goner

by 21freys



Category: Twenty One Pilots
Genre: M/M, Suicide, Suicide Attempt, Suicide Notes, Uhm, also dont read this if you're easily triggered guys its sad, major trigger warnings, super sad lmao sorry, this is my first fic please be kind
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-08-26
Updated: 2015-08-26
Packaged: 2018-04-17 08:12:58
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 744
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4659216
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/21freys/pseuds/21freys
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>hello friends<br/>okay so this is my first fic and yeah its sad but hello to anyone thats reading it. shoutout to becca for reading it first and saying that it was good enough to post on here.<br/>also please leave kudos if you like it/leave a comment id love to know what people thing c:</p>
            </blockquote>





	im a goner

He sits there staring, the stone is cold, the ground is cold his heart feels cold. His chest feels sick and the tears don’t even come anymore he’s too empty. He pulls the note out of his pocket, he hasn’t been able to look at it yet, too angry, too scared to know why. All he cared about was blaming himself because he should have done something and the anger was too much.

 

He takes a deep breath and shakes slightly whether its with cold or fear he’s not sure, he opens the paper and looks down.

 

_Dear josh,_

_I'm so sorry, that’s how these things start right? I know I told you that I would always be here but I guess I lied again didn’t i? you told me to promise to stop lying to you last night and I smiled and said I would and I'm sorry, but I lied again when I said that. I am broken and a liar josh and you deserve more than me, you always did and I cant keep doing this to you._

_You used to say it would be you that was going to leave and I swear I would have, still will do anything to stop it. You were the one who was always broken I couldn’t bear to see you realize just how broken I am. Even though I have no right to ask you to make me a promise I'm going to anyway. Promise me that you wont blame yourself for this josh, this is all on me, you were the reason I was living for so long and I just… I'm so sorry that I couldn’t keep going. Also I apologize for the tear stains, I'm not really sure why I'm crying I want this and even though it hurts leaving you, god it hurts, I know you’ll be better off without me. Youre the strong one josh you always were never forget it just please, don’t hate me for this you will always be my one and only true love and I cant breathe when I think about not having you but I cant cope anymore._

_Do you remember the night we first kissed? We were in the park and you were laughing at me because id tripped over, and all I wanted to do was to make you smile more but also to wipe that stupid grin off your face because it was totally your fault that I fell. So I dragged you down on top of me and it was slightly muddy so your face was covered in flecks of dirt and all I wanted to do was kiss you. It seemed you had the same idea because the next thing I knew that’s what you were doing and it was perfect, you were, are, perfect. But I am not and I am tired and I am sorry josh I love you I love you I love you. But I cant do it anymore. Please forgive me baby boy and promise me you’ll keep going._

_I'm not going to say goodbye not in that way because I guess its not goodbye I don’t want to say goodbye because I love you josh I love you so much and that may sound unbelievable but I'm leaving because you deserve so much more baby boy you do and I cant be that and I cant pretend anymore I'm sorry_

_I love you,_

_Tyler_

Josh wiped the tears he thought he’d never shed again. He took a step back and ripped up the piece of paper he thought would help him to do this but it didn’t help he still didn’t understand. Like he had done many times since he moment he walked into the bathroom to find tyler he screamed, kneeling in front of the stone of the person he loved more than anything.

“I promise tyler” he whispered as he crossed his fingers behind his back, taking one last breath before he gave up and let the sobs overtake his body and his eyes close.

 

A year later the dust has settled and the vines have grown over, it was tylers favourite time of year, when the leaves of spring were just starting to show their faces and the cold was beginning to leave. Two stones stood side by side, linked together by the vines almost as if they were hand in hand. Both liars, both lovers, both gone.


End file.
